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tasty bytes from China

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November 2012

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11/24/12

Tiger Fishing

Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 5:17 pm

While most indulged in eating a big roasted bird on
Thanksgiving, we fed ours to live Tigers.

Only in China.

At the Yunnan Safari Park, right outside of Kunming, you can
try your luck reeling in a big one.

For 15 RMB (about two bucks) you can get a fishing pole baited
with raw chicken, then dangle the dang
thing a large cat’s cage.

Jeff will forever be telling the story about “the big one that got away”.

The bait fell off my pole like a badly hooked worm. The big cats didn’t seem to mind.

The zoo is a cross between the San Diego Zoo and a PETA
nightmare. Animals run wild, and guests walk or ride the zoo-choo train through
their stomping grounds.

Spitting llamas, yaks, weird deer, ornery ostriches other
creatures that unsupervised school kids like to hassle.

Here’s a hoard of unruly school children, which were more terrifying
than the animals.

The lions and other big cats run wild on a side of a hill
(this is closed off to the public). You have a choice of walking on a bridge
above them, or through a secure caged path that snorkels through their abode. The entrance of the park gives you an idea of how hilly the grounds are.

But lions are lazy creatures. They weren’t interested in Jeff’s
lure of chicken legs until the host of Deadliest Catch came out with a live
chicken strung on a pole.

The man cooo-ed to arouse the cats, then dangled the flapping bird over the cage. One
the cat came down the side of the hill, Little Chicken was reeled into safety and
the lion got to snatch Jeff’s chicken meat.

I felt bad for the bird, even though its life was spared. I
am sure it suffers from PTSD and gets freaked out at parties when he hears a
loud noise.

You could also feed live bears wieners.

The park was amazing. My favorite part was the baby animal area.
A little of white tiger cubs were so cute, I wanted to play with them.

Which you can, in China.

There was also a peacock field filled with several hundred
technicolor birds.

There was even a white peacock.

The park did have safe creatures to feed, such as the Coy
fish.

It’s amazing what nice pictures you can take at a zoo when
the animals aren’t in cages.

Again, being the only white creatures at the zoo (except for
the peacock), Jeff and I got the most stares.

But of all the creatures there, this is what Jeff takes a picture of.

Rhino Dung.

1 comment

11/10/12

You think you’re sick of Gangnam Style?

Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 7:19 am

Oppan sexy lady, not again.

If for some reason your ears have been spared hearing Psy’s
Gangnam Style http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0

please let me know your secret. Psy’s the Korean Justin
Bieber who became an overnight success by uploading his video on You-Tube. If
you’re wondering what the lyrics mean, Gangnam
is a well to do Suburb of Seoul.

No, this isn’t a picture of Psy.

And this isn’t Gangnam, Korea, either.

This definitely isn’t a Gangnam Style laundry mat.

But I do think this is where Psy got his Gangnam style dancing shoes.

As big as the song is in America, magnify it by a gazillion
and a half and you almost understand its popularity in Asia. If my Korean
students spent as much time practicing their past tense irregular verbs as they
do the pony dance, I’d be out a job.

The lady who sold me the bootleg version of James
Bond’s SKYFALL didn’t know the Gangnam style song. She also didn’t know that the bootleg DVD of Agent Ling Ling Qi (007) was in Russian.

Nos this isn’t Psy and this isn’t Gangnam, but it is my best Gangnam style pony dancer, a pint-size Parisian.

Yes I know, a French boy learning English in China is the best
Korean style dancer.

Instead of wearing a tight pink Gangnam style tux, he likes to
wears a batman costume to class. I know it’s breaking dress code, but who cares.

comments (0)

11/04/12

Attention Shoppers

Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 7:26 am

About a year ago, the Carrefour complex on Dianchi Lu in
Kunming opened.

Carrefour is a French supermarket chain that sells familiar packaged
goods in the land of the odd, such as Proctor and Gamble and Kleenex. The complex
also has a Starbucks, Dairy Queen, McDonald’s and Pizza Hut. So along with
making brand name toilet paper that wouldn’t infect your binger forty five
minutes closer, you can get classic American treats your homesick taste buds.

But all of this westernese comes with a price. Old China is disappearing
like a picture shaken on an Etch a Sketch.

While the front side of the complex offers your the looks and amenities of America, if you take back way you can still shop in
old china.

Here are some pictures.

The Rice Aisle