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04/28/12
Sunrise Jogger and Walking Man
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 5:05 pm

 

 P3300033

I was elated yesterday when I added my 325th Face book friend: Chicago’s Walking Man.  

He’s this guy also known as the 70’s Man, sporting a seventies style suit, Marshal
Sam McCloud hair style, bushy mustache plus a gold chain swinging over an
unbuttoned shirt. You usually see him on Michigan Avenue or Wacker Drive by the
cab stands. Everyone knows who he is, but no one knows his story. He’s just one
of Chicago’s landmarks—make that mand-marks– that’ll never make a postcard,
just like Wrigley’s Ronnie Woo Woo and the Grumbling Streetwise Guy.

Kunming doesn’t have a Walking Man that I know of,
but my neighborhood– Hu Pan Zhi Meng Xiao Qu–does have a few oddities of its
own. You don’t know their stories, but you know ‘em when you see ‘em. Snapping
their photos is as impossible as capturing a picture of Big Foot on film. Trust
me, they do exist. Here are a few of our imfamous roaming residents:

The Opera Singer with the Golden Retriever

If you’ve never seen him, you’ve probably heard
him. He looks normal enough, but this middle age Chinese guy wanders around
hitting notes that could shatter glass. Is he singing opera lyrics or the words
to an after shave jingle? Who knows. Opera Singer is accompanied by his golden
retriever, who must be loyal or deaf. You can hear the Opera Singer
mid-mornings in around the pond in Area 3.

Backwards
Clapping Morning Walker

This guy is big on Chinese standards, looking like
a cross between Walter Mathhau and Mao. He wears a bright red shirt, headphones
and a big smile. You see him bustling over the bridge near area 3, usually
moving forwards, but many times, walking in reverse clapping.

Sunrise
Jogger in the Black Tank Top

Sunrise Jogger’s body-hugging black attire is
reminiscent of a one-piece bathing suit from the 20’s, making you wonder if he
stepped out of a secret Chinese time machine hidden in the bamboo garden. He’s
on the short side with wire frames, a buzz cut and bulging muscular thighs too
big for his squat body. Mind you, jogging is a western import, so morning
runners are rare as fig Newtons or size 9 shoes. This intense athlete dressed
in all black can be spotted huffing around the big pond around 7 in the
morning. Who is this guy?

PB190007

Woman In Curlers With The
Samurai Sword

Working out with Samurai swords usually doesn’t
get a second look in China. Neither does a full head of old school curlers. But
the combo together is a little unnerving. There’s usually a morning group of
Samurai Swords women swinging to a Billy Banks Samurai tape under the canopy in
area 3 near the bridge. Curler Lady makes an occasional appearance.

Male Yoga Student With Pants
Hiked Up Too High

I don’t
know who his is, but this regular yogi pulls his drawers up to his nipples.
He’s usually at the Tuesday night class at Tao Yoga. I have no idea how he gets
into downward dog without an upward wedgie. Fashion police, arrest him. Please!


Old Chinese Identical Twins By
Old Wal-mart

ChineseTwins

Enough said. But now for the top two resident
weirdos who get all of the stares:

Měi Guó Rén (American) With Old Chinese
Bike

Jeff’s bike is so sad, that thieves stole his lock and left the cycle.

P4050024

 White Lady With The Broken
Umbrella

Uh, that
would be me. The sun here is intense and can cook you like an ant under a
magnifying glass. Umbrellas are the best ways to beat the UV rays. Mine, with a
few broken ribs and tattered canopy, has seen better days. Before I cause a
gaper’s delay, I better get a new one.

Finally, Bangkok’s Walking Man with Bad Hygiene.

He’s a dark skinned guy with a white painted face sporting pants on the stinky side. Bangkok’s Walking Man With Bad Hygiene stops, pees and prays at every shrine on Sukhumvit Road. His hair is a combination of dreadlocks and a burnette brillo pad. Scary!

 

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