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The only thing more torturous on your digestion track than
moving to Asia is coming back to the States for a visit.
It hasn’t been a mind expanding trip, but a waist expanding
one.
For the past six weeks, Jeff and I have been putting our
intestines to the test, eating the foods we dreamed about for nine months in
Kunming.
The epicurean adventure started at Costco. Jeff got an
industrial size box of Lucky Charms then proceeded to eat only the marshmallow
hearts, moons and stars.
Then from there, it just went down hill.
I’ve been indulging in hamburgers, hamburgers and hamburgers.
Plus potato salad, black cherry ice cream and a to-die-for Flamin’ Fury peach,
which they haven’t figured out how to bootleg in China.
I ate the peach the proper way, licking the juice off my arm
as it dripped down.
Jeff’s been eating anything with a free prize in the box.
I also ate half a Lou Malanti pie with double anchovies, and
an assortment of micro brewery libations from the Midwest.
Lest I forget the Piggly Wiggly cake and manhole cover sized
pancakes from Door County.
We also indulged in American TV, including a new show called
Freaky Eaters, featuring a woman addicted to Tartar Sauce.
We’ll be back in the land of the weird next week eating
normal stuff like chicken feet and blood soup.
Stuff that agrees with our stomach.
Until then, we might drop a few hits of lax, if you know
what I mean.
And unfortunately, you do.