Jeff and I finally got cable. We have over one hundred channels of nonsense,
including
multiple channels of infomercials, CCTV news, cartoons, sports and four
channels of 24/7 coverage of the Olympics, more commonly pronounced the Owimpics.
We have had the privilege of watching events we would never
otherwise view, including speed walking, pistol shooting, ping ponging, and women
weight lifting, none of which will land a Victoria Secret Model deal.
But equally as important as any single event, is China’s non-stop coverage of
who has won the most goals. For the most part, it’s been a neck to neck race between China and the USA.
Which is why I recommend that China adds a few new events, guaranteeing them more golds than anyone else. My ideas include:
Face Dart Throwing
Taxi Sidewalk Driving
Refrigerator Lifting
Peewee Rowing
Geriatric Mountain Climbing
Synchronized Recess kicking
Power Cycling
Electric Line Walking
Construction Site Balancing
Morning Aerobics in Dress Clothing
Feather Duster Sleeping.
It couldn’t be any more boring viewing than Badminton watching.