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tasty bytes from China
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10/14/12
Addicted To Durian
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 2:25 am

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Ok, I don’t know how it happened, but it did.

Durian, the only thing that the bald guy on Bizarre Foods
would rather have his tongue remove than eat. The thing that looks like a spiked football
with edible abscesses inside. 

Well, it has gotten under the skin of my taste buds.

It started with my ESL class students. I have Koreans,
Taiwanese and Hongkongese whose eyes light up when I mention the
word.

“It so delicious!” they say.

I can tell they are not messing with me,  like I do with them, telling them that a
Gherkin Dill tastes like a green jolly rancher.

So I purchased a durian for a student’s birthday.  I had to store it on the balcony in the women’s bathroom and eat it outside. The school, like other places, has a policy prohibiting durian.

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After we sliced the prickly skin open, the  students were curious to what I thought.

The texture of my first durian experience was that of a
slimy mushroom. The shape of the edible innards was similar to a small avocado,
with a big lima bean looking like pit inside.

The taste? It had that papaya aftertaste going on along with
a bit of pumpkin and something robust like onion.

So you may ask, what tempted me to try it again?

I don’t know.

I think my taste buds wanted a second shot at deciphering what the heck
hit them.

So in Bangkok, I gave durian a another try.

 In Bangkok, durian stands
are as common as sex toy vendors.

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This time,the durian  was like a marshmallow fruit. A real sweet vanilla flavor right from a Willy Wonka movie. The texture was like Lucky Charms after they’ve soaked in milk for a bit.

Even so, I made sure there was no evidence of durian remained on my lips before
returning to the hotel room. Jeff hates the thought of the stuff.

And I knew then, I would need another taste.

Was this really a marshmallow?

Upon returning to Kunming, I needed my Durian fix, I snuck out to the Central city and searched for durian dealerss.

I found a few. I got a rumpled wad of RMB out of my pocket and approached a man who looked like he hadn’t bathed since the fourth of july. He was in an area I’ll refer to as Durian Alley.

My hands were trembling. I tastebuds were going thru cold turkey. 

He weighed the fruit on a hand held scale, charging me about a buck for three slippery pieces and put them in a baggy.

I pulled a piece out, and loaded one into my mouth. But this time, the fruit was mushy like an edible abscess. Imagine expecting to bite into a firm melon and ended up with mushy banana. The texture was so
repulsive, I couldn’t eat it. 

But instead of swearing it off, I found another vendor and gave my tastebuds another exotic whirl.

Jeff says there’s a reason why God put  sharp spikes on it and gave the fruit a smell reminiscent of a forgotten jock strap. “They are warning signs not to eat it.”

But his warnings are falling to a deaf ear. I’m hopelessly hooked.

So, durian is the mood rings of eating experiences. Sometimes, it’s good, sometimes it’s ugly.

I recommend taking your chances and trying it. 

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