americantakeout
tasty bytes from China
Categories:

Archives:
Meta:
March 2024
M T W T F S S
« Nov    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
01/04/13
About that important instructional movie….
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 7:26 am

  DSCN1432

Jeff and I are making that weird trip back to China tonight.
This time, it’s a fifteen hour odyssey from LAX to Guangzhou followed by a two
hour flight to Kunming.(note: it only takes the space shuttle eight and a half minutes to make it into initial orbit). While I haven’t racked up as many frequent flier miles
as Hillary Clinton, I have spent enough time in the air to make a few
intelligent suggestions to the airlines.

Instead of telling us how to put on my seat belt or the air
temperature at 24,000 feet, why not tell me something useful?

Like how to crawl
over the sleeping guy in the aisle seat in the middle of the night when you
have to use the toilet
. Half the time, the person  in the middle seat has  eye patches on
and 
cup of  Airbus Chablis on their dinner tray, making it impossible to get to the aisle
unless your Agent 007. Is this a situation where I’m supposed to flip on the
light switch for assistance?

How to deal with crying
baby sitting two rows behind you.
Why is there always a crying baby on
international flights? To make the agony worse, the crying baby got to fly for
free because it sits in a parent’s lap. They should pay more since one crying
baby makes the flight unbearable for the other 377 passengers. Forget the first
class behind the magic “do not use the restrooms in this elite section” curtain, why
not have a crying baby class? I’d pay premium to put the babies in there!

DSCN0400

Regarding asking me
if I want chicken or beef for dinner?
Why bother? They taste the same. On
international flights, you still get complimentary meals and the only reason you
eat them is because you are bored.  One
will be brown sledge over rice, the other will be a dingy yellow over noodles. If you plan ahead, I suggest ordering  the fruit plate or kosher meal just for a culinary surprise. Also, you’ll
get to eat first.

How to keep stuff
from being stolen from your checked suitcase.
  About ten DVDs got swiped from my suitcase on
route to Detroit from China. The thief hand selected what DVDs he would take
and which he would not: taking the collection of 007 movies and leaving the
chick flicks. I’m pretty sure they were swiped state side since bootleg DVD
are as plentiful as rice in China.

DSCN1430

And at the airport….I
am so confused about I can pack in my carry-on.
Granted, Sanders Butterscotch
Topping should never be packed in a carry-on, which is why it got confiscated
in Detroit. But if I put it in my checked luggage, it is at risk of being
ripped off.  So give me some guidance
here.

One more thing to
explain in that movie, why do packages of toiletries have measurements in grams
while the TSA guys have guidelines in ounces
? Please get together. Maybe
put a little airplane icon on bottle sizes that are safe enough to be airborne.
Trust me, after fifteen hours in the sky, having  a bit of mouthwash would be nice.

 

One Response to “About that important instructional movie….”

  1. Patty Zemmer Says:
    Being an international traveler I agree and I laughed through some of the comments! Love your posts, Ginger!

Leave a Reply