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02/15/14
The Year of the Horse: a Speed Course
Filed under: Culture
Posted by: @ 9:58 pm


If Christmas is supposed to be Jesus’ birthday and our calendar year is based on his birth, why aren’t the two celebrated on same day?

It’s probably a marketing ploy to get us to buy more crap.

Well, the Chinese New Year actually does have a reason for the season. It’s actually better known to the billion people who live here as Spring festival or Chunjie (春节).

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Chunjie  kicks off a two week long celebration sponsored by the Bell-tone Hearing Aids guys.
It’s loud, colorful and full of ear-drum puncturing tradition.

Let me cram thousands of years of noisy tradition into one short peaceful post.

Anyway, Chunjie is one of those holidays that day changes each year, since it revolves around a new lunar moon. This year, it was January 31st.

The country of China literally shut down. Guang Fu Lu is usally flooded with busses, the sidewalks overtaken with cars.

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Hundreds of millions clog train and bus stations. The internet gets sluggish due to the other half a billion purchasing their tickets on
line.

And everyone else? They head to the parks.

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Each Chinese New Year is based on one of the animals of their zodiac. Last year, it was the snake. But the slithering creature was replaced by the speedy and strong horse, unlike the one on display at the Old Kunming, who looks about a day away from the glue factory.

Fireworks were popped all night long, the sounds and like that are never seen in the USA.
This heart was made of a 7,000 finger sized firecrackers, each containing enough gun powder to blow my pinky all the way to Toledo. It took about five minutes to blow up.

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This roll of 7,000 firecrackers, bigger than a bike tire, set me back about $40, more than the cost of this classic “flying pigeon” Chinese bicycle.

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So what’s the reason for the season?

The firework tradition started with Nian (年兽), a legendary Chinese monster. He wasn’t born in a manger  and doesn’t deliver toys down a chimney. The loud noises and the color red supposedly scare Nian and his evil spirits away.


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Along with fireworks, the releasing of turtles, goldfish and birds is supposed to bring good luck. Cages like this are seen everywhere.

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Dinner is a traditional meal called a nianyefan (年夜饭), literally meaning the first meal of the year. Some dine on long noodles for longevity. Others devour a Chinese Turkey, AKA a pig, and enjoy the leftovers for days after. They also indulge in traditional desserts like this “Good Luck” rice cake, which really means, good luck eating it.

It tastes like honey topped Styrofoam.

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Finally, about two weeks and two billion firecrackers later, the holiday ends with the Lantern Festival on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month.


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The lanterns are actually floats.

I went to the festival during the day to avoid the crowd. Ya know, lanterns just aren’t as cool in the daylight.

No Horsing Around.

If you were born in is that of the horse, you got to be on your hooves or toes. It’s important to wear red underwear, red socks or a red stringed pendant for the next 365 days to bring you good luck.

But if your luck is in the dirty clothes pile, you could find yourself in a real bind worse than a day-old wedgie.

Also, you’re supposed sto avoid getting married, having babies and changing jobs during this “your lunar year”. Things will likely go wrong, like Murphy’s law.

A little bad luck gift from the Irish.
      

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