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08/21/11
China Vs. the Aliens
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 3:17 pm

Kidgun

Only in China can you purchase just released movies for about a buck.

That’s what we did Saturday, viewing a bootleg version of Cowboys and Aliens.

Of course, it had the classic markings of a bootleg production.

Along with a shaky picture, every now and then another alien would appear on the screen—that being the big black shadow of a person getting up for popcorn who was sitting in the front of the theatre.

But durng our viewing, we had a few aliens of our own invading our home theatre—those being mosquitoes.

Now mosquitoes in China make the northern Wisconsin variety seem fat and lazy. I’ve been bitten so much in Kunming, my arms looking like they are covered with moguls  from a ski resort. The mini vampires wth wings  have run my veins dry.

So sometime between the lady getting up for popcorn and David Craig smoking peyote with the Indians, we christened our electric mosquito swatter.  What is it? Just imagine  a tennis racket with a sweet spot made with  metal netting instead of nylon strings.

Jeff and I attacked the bloodsucking intruders in our apartment , which, was more exciting than the flick.

But then there was the sequel to the alien invasion in our  bedroom.

Mosquitoes line up on my side of the bed one after an another like planes waiting to  land at O’Hare,  jockeying for an inch of skin to land on.

At night, we have a Raid Plug-In for our bedroom—it’s like a Glade plug in, but with toxic fumes that fill the air instead of the scent of “Vanilla Lavender”.

I really don’t want to think of the repercussions.

Luckily, the skeeters in Kunming don’t carry malaria, Dengue fever or Japanese encephalitis–just a good ole fashion itch.

My recommendation to you? Two thumbs down for the bootleg version of Cowboys vs. Aliens. Two thumbs up for electric mosquito zappers.

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