americantakeout
tasty bytes from China
Categories:

Archives:
Meta:
March 2024
M T W T F S S
« Nov    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
10/01/11
Any Given Sunday
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 4:51 pm

P9230010< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” />

China is great.  You can do almost anything in this country from farting in public, poohing in the petunias, wearing pajamas to wal-mart to spitting in stilettos without getting a second look.

Granted, all of these actions are recorded on a surveillance camera.

But there is one thing you cannot do in China.

Exit a bus from the front door.

Make a dash from the front instead of the aft, you’ll be an inch away from being deported.

It doesn’t matter how many people you elbow going for the rear door, exiting from the front of a gōng gòng chē  (bus) is a serious offense.

And being a westerner makes it twice as bad.

You’ll get yelled at by not only the Chinese version of Ralph Kramden but also by the ancient passenger with a six inch long hair growing out of the oversized mole on his cheek.  

He’s lucky because he got a seat.

But getting on a bus in China, anything goes. It brings out my inner Brian Urlacher, as I elbow little kids, littler kids, men, women, teens, grandparents, and passengers carrying live chickens to get board.

Come to think of it, shoulder pads would come in handy.

There are no penalties for stepping on toes or shoving as I make it to the end zone for a coveted empty seat.

Some passengers throw their belongings through open windows to reserve a spot, thinking this action will buy them time as they dilly-dally getting on board.

Yeah right. That rates right up there with cutting in line at Disneyworld to get on Space Mountain.

I hike their items to an out of bounds area, such as the green seats saved for the elderly.

They yell obscenities in Chinese as I complete my secret  ”Ting Bu Dong” play.

Victory for the Westerner.

Another loss for Kung Fu Panda.

But as we exit, he air hankies in my direction.

And no one gives it a second look.

 

 

Leave a Reply