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12/04/11
If the shoe fits…buy it!
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 1:41 am

PB240006

Yeah right. Trying to find a shoe in China that fits an American
size foot is like trying to squeeze Shrek’s foot into Cinderella’s glass slipper.
It’s modern day Chinese foot binding.

I decided it’s time to retire my shoes from back home. Actually,
my shoes aren’t from America, but are Danskos from Scandinavia. They look like they’ve been to the moon and back when actually
they’ve been through much worse: Chinese life.

My Danskos are more like Tankos. They’ve survived urine glazed floors of squatty style
latrines, sidewalks made slilppery
by hacked up throat goobers of old Chinese men; they’ve dodged  animal entrails at wet markets, multiple x-ray machines at
international airports, and daily trotting up and down five floors  to my classroom at KIA.

So, I thought I’d give it a go yesterday in Kunming’s
shopping district, a renovated part of the city that actually looks like
Chicago (if you squint).  There were shoe sales everywhere, featuring spiked stiletto work boots, fur lined pumps, and Hong Kong knock offs of Clarks called Cooks.
I knew just enough Chinese to get myself in trouble. Woah Yow Jega! Woah Yow Sir-Sure-E-R!.
Translated? Do you have any shoes big enough for these dogs?

 I had a small crowd
gathered, not to look at my fair skin, but my mammoth feet. While my 8 ½ size boats are hardly considered battleships in Chicago,
they are off-the-chart aircraft carriers in China. The biggest standard size in China is around seven.
That would mean I’d have to snip off my toe tips  to fit into
anything cute. The shoe salesman tried squeezing my foot into a variety of boots, slip-ons, flats and pumps  with no luck,  which is
why I’m pursuing Plan B: a visit the shoe guy.

For about 3 RMB or 39 cents, the shoe guy will shine up your
shoes like new.  For 50 RMB, he will make
them born again, giving them new souls. They wash old sneakers and make them whiter than before you wore ‘em.

ManFIXINGcoachBag

Or, you can always get your black shoes polished on the street.
Most street polishers use charcoal, meaning, your shoes will look real good but
your khaki pants will resemble a chimney sweeper from Mary Poppins.

Bottom line? I’m still looking for shoes and salivating over styles I will never be able to squeeze into. I’ll be going to Bangkok
around Christmas and maybe I will have better luck there.  

One Response to “If the shoe fits…buy it!”

  1. Anonymous Says:
    I have the same problem with jock straps

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