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02/04/12
Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Not in Asia.
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 5:49 pm

 It’s one thing to be a dumb blonde, it’s a totally other thing to be a dumb Asian.

Chinese
Students

Okay, this is my second year teaching in Asia, mostly
tweenagers in our school’s English language immersion program.  English is their second or third language. Keep
in mind each language has its own alphabet, grammar rules and unique phonic
blends.

Education is actually valued here.

 I feel like such a
hypocrite correcting a student who forgot to add “the” before a noun, when I
can’t even pronounce their Korean or Chinese name. Most students take
on English names so teachers like me appear smarter than our American education.

Get real, how do you pronounce Ng?  It sounds like a partial gargle.

I can’t rip students a new binger for misusing a past
perfect progressive verb when after twenty-five years as a writer, I have no
clue what a p3 was…or er uh, is. 

Is a p3 a new app for an i-pod?

Granted, I used the past perfect progressive verb tense correctly
writing jingles and all, but I didn’t know it had a special name, just like the
plastic tip of a shoelace (by the way, it’s called a fob).

PB290066

After  school, students
usually have sessions with private language tutors or practice the piano,
violin or cello. What do I do? Plug in a KING OF QUEENS dvd.

I have one adorable student who is Frinese. She is French
Chinese blend, fusing together rolled “r”s and Chinese tones into the English
language.  It’s amazing.

What language does she dream in? Eat in?

Rerunning myself, there are more students studying English in
China than what speak English in America. So a hundred years from now, Asians
will own and redefine this universal language.

 I bet the petunias on
my grave that “a”, “an” and “the” will join the ranks of  ”thou” and “thy”. Verb tenses be considered old school English, created by Americans who were so time focused, they
even had time spans for their verbs.

Meanwhile, I gave up on learning Mandarin. I figure writing
a novel would be an easier task.

Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Not in Asia.

 But my tune quickly
changes when I see a sign like this at Carrefour.

P1210071

One Response to “Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Not in Asia.”

  1. Anonymous Says:
    i so love reading your take on our life here. such a gift

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