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tasty bytes from China
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10/31/10
Improvise
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 7:11 am

P9160017

 

In China, the place that makes everything, you still can’t find the things you need. Take for instance, a measuring tape. Lord knows they have a zillion of ‘em in the country—cuz this is where they make ‘em–but you can’t find when you need it. Which is why, when we were measuring a storage cabinet in our bathroom (which is really a bedroom dresser), we improvised and used toilet paper.  The old storage unit was four wipes wide, which we replaced with a storage unit that was much bigger, 12 wipes.  And where did we find our measuring tape? Behind the 12 wiper with a few dust bunnies.

Or molasses. They don’t have it. Some of the westerners use something called malt sugar. I use something called rose sugar. It tastes like a mixture of mild molasses and a Glade Plug In.

 

Nostrils

Then there are things you can’t replace, like the cereal aisle at Jewel. Instead, China has the soy sauce aisle. They have more varieties of soy, chili and teriyaki sauce than what you could shake a chop stick at.

 

There also aren’t coffee shops in China. Not that I’m craving a skim mocha cappuccino latte decaf with , but I do miss a place to hang out with free WIFI on Sunday afternoons. There are a few coffee shops in Kunming that cater to Westerners, but the problem is this: they are packed with all of the Westerners I try avoid seeing on weekends.

 

There also isn’t a replacement for watching college Big Ten football. You can get up at 3:30 am and watch it stream live on the internet, but that’s no fun. Who wants to eat guacamole and chips then?  Or, I forgot, there is no guacamole and chips here. Instead there’s eggs on a stick and spicy tofu (something that smells similar to a wet dog lit on fire).

 

EggOnaStick

 

China also doesn’t have medium-pulp, low acid, calcium fortified OJ or tater tots, velveeta or marshmallow fluff. But they do have neon colored dried fruit.

 

DriedFruits

You can’t find kitchen paper towels here, either.

I guess I’ll just have to improvise and use toilet paper for those jobs, too.

 

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