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Yes, we are celebrating Thanksgiving in China but without many of the fixins’ we are used to. Friends are cooking two turkeys and a big vat of Velveeta mac and cheese. The Velveeta was shipped in from the states. As for the turkeys? A few stores carry them for deep-pocketed, homesick Westerners, who long for a taste of Norman Rockwell.
Unsurprisingly, in China, you seem to be able to find every edible here short of green jello. Canned cranberries that retain the shape of the can, croutons for stuffing, pumpkin (both canned and fresh) for pies, mini marshmallows and Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup. Bu, no green jello. What will Thanksgiving be like without green jello clouded over with cottage cheese and pineapple chunks?
I’m sure if we looked long enough, we could find it. Maybe next to the teeth guy in Green Park. Would you buy a new smile from this guy?
Or, the lady who sells bootleg Viagra. Maybe she knows where to score some jello.
No luck at the wet, dry or street markets finding green jello. Maybe I’ll bring home my own dialysis machine instead.
According to a study done by the National Turkey Association, Americans eat about 690 MILLION pounds of Turkey on Thanksgiving. That’s equivalent to the weight of the ENTIRE population of Singapore. That doesn’t include the yams, green beans, mashed potatoes or the pool of melting jello that seems to contaminate everyone else on your plate.
Here’s to eating my share of the bird without lime flavored horse hooves.