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tasty bytes from China
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05/28/11
Going Local
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 6:32 pm

OldMenBW

Over the past few months, I’ve made some local friends.

One is a successful Asian Chef with several top restaurants in China. Being a tasteful fusion of Gordon Ramsey and Kung Fu Panda, she invited me over for a few personal cooking lessons.

After an evening of chopping, marinating and grilling in her kitchen, I got to taste test five different types of kimchi. This was followed by a feast of Korean BBQ, all chased with homemade plumb wine.

While I played the role of a global glutton, her seven-year-old was unimpressed with our edible endeavors. He turned up his nose at the spread and said, “Can we have hot dogs instead?”

My friend also introduced me to the world of Chinese tea, which is a bit more complicated than selecting a foil wrapped bag from a Celestial Seasons box.

There is an entire ritual to pouring, steeping and sipping or should I say slurping Chinese tea.  The accoutrements included several miniature clay pots, a special table with a built-in drain plus an assortment of tea cups about the size of a thimble.

After tea, we went for a massage. For about the price of an american  happy hour appetizer, you can get every kink worked out of your six-hundred-plus muscles. While some massage parlors are frou-frou, other are just chairs on a street curb.

The place we went to was neither. It was like walking into a Diane Arbus photograph,  complete with dingy lighting, smoky massage rooms and a cast of characaters.

First, there was the smoking masseuse. He had a cigarette with an inch long ash dangling from his mouth. Amazingly, it didn’t fall off and maim the old man he was slapping like a bongo drum.

Then, there were the blind masseuses who seem to have a sixth sense: they can tell if you’re American by the smell of your skin…and the  fat on your butt.

But my masseuse wasn’t blind, either. Mine–as explained to me– was a “man who was born a woman”. He had soft facial features but hands like a vice grip. 

Along with working out knots, the masseuse worked out the five types of kimchi.

Like everything else in China, it was pleasantly weird and a lot more entertaining than eating a deep fried onion blossom at Applebee’s.

And, a great way to kick off the weekend.

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