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tasty bytes from China
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11/24/11
Getting Carded
Filed under: General
Posted by: @ 1:12 am

PB220022


I remember the good old days of getting carded in America. Not
for buying a fifth of Seagram’s in college with a fake ID, but cards you use
regularly in wallet. If you were like me, you  have a license, credit cards, a library
card (which  I last used to check out
Anne Lamott’s Traveling Mercies and have no intention of returning): gift
cards from Christmas past–including bookstores that no longer exist. You
might have frequent shopper cards, a Costco membership card,  department store credit cards, a gas card and, if you
live in Chicago, multiple voter registration cards.


But the fattest American stack can’t compare to China’s plethora
of plastic.


In China, I have a card for every part of my body and then
some.


I have my yoga card and Jeff has his swimming card.


Then, there is our joint account foot massage card. You get
five calluses sawed off for the price of four.


I also have a manicure card.  You would too if you saw the quality of water
that flows from the spigot.


I m on the verge of getting a card for the blind masseuse.
No, the card is not in Braille. The blind masseuse does cupping as well. That’s
when they put cups on your back leaving marks like you were  attacked by a giant octopus. The blind cupper
lights a wick under a glass cup, blows it out, and the smoky vacuum sucks out
toxins from your muscles –but unfortunately leaves the ripply remains of late night binges. The last time I went,  the visually challenged cupper tried blowing
out the wick and the flame bounced onto the blanket and ignited it. I was
like a human chandelier clanking around trying to pat out the flame.


I still want a card.


I have frequent DVD movie cards,  a bank debit card and a security card for my
building complex .


PB220030


But with so many cards, the Chinese have made an business of
 cards covers, which explains why my bus
card looks like an alien.


PB220027


Many  Chinese businesses
 offer cards so  you pay for your services up front and get bonus
RMB added to your account. For instance, my dry cleaner VIP card: I paid 100 RMB
and will get 130 RMB worth of services.


There are even frequent abortion cards to help citizens
comply to the one child policy.


The most useful of all cards is something called a cab card.
They are “made and traded” by Westerners.  Cab Cards have common locations of  Kunming written on them in English, Chinese and
Pin Yin.


PB220025


Card Etiquette


When you hand someone your card, you hand it to them with two hands,
not with a quick flick of the wrist.


Final Tip

If you
travel to the weird underbelly of this planet, be sure to bring your bank debit
card.


Because the only card they don’t except in China is American
Express. Credit cards are as useless here as your verizon roaming minutes.           

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